Wednesday, May 06, 2009

if i could talk to my animals...

1) at 3 am, there's nothing to see behind the blinds. seriously, it's dark.

2) occasionally, you will hear doorbells or knocking on TV. it's not real. even if it was real, it does not require you to jump up, run to the door barking and go nuts.

3) when you pee in the same spot consistently in the litter box, it creates a big ol' block of pee. it's hard to get it out of there without it breaking up and that's frustrating. mix it up a little bit. you're only using about 1/6 of the area possible.

4) pepper, grace doesn't like you. really really doesn't like you.

5) and milo--chasing pepper and swatting at her doesn't help the situation. in fact, i'd say it riles her up even more.

6) if it's not one of your toys on the floor or in your bowl, it's not yours. don't eat it. don't chew on it. just leave it alone.

7) when you are aware that you're going to puke, try--just try--to make it over to the vinyl. it's so much easier to clean.

8) if you get kicked out of the bedroom in the middle of the night, it means you messed up. walking across our heads, trying to eat a plastic bag, cleaning yourself too loud--all of the above will get you kicked out.

9) and if you get kicked out, deal with it. yowling and crying outside the door doesn't make us want to let you back in. it makes us contemplate how much further we could restrain you from the door.

10) finally, we love you. and you bring us great joy. which is exactly why we can laugh about these aggravating things and still keep you in our house. most of the time :)

what would you share with your animals?


  1. 1. Chris really doesn't like you, Buster. He only keeps you around because the girls take up for you.

    2. Dogs shouldn't lick themselves like cats.


  2. I echo your sentiments Lauren. The one I would want to add is, "Thank you but we already have an alarm clock." It never fails--they begin to wake us up around 5:30 every morning.

  3. Anonymous9:29 AM

    You are not faster than that squirrel AND it can climb trees.

    There is no perfect spot to do your business. Any one (outside) will do.