i know it seems like there's a theme to my posts lately. it's either all about davis or adding in my new focus on running and doing the couch to 5k program. and as much as i wish i could write about work or maybe other hobbies or interests i'm spending time on lately--honestly, this is where my head is. it's davis/family/homelife and then there's running. 30 or so minutes a few times a week where i get to check out and focus on the music playing and relieve some stress and breathing (when else do you REALLY focus on your breathing?) and doing something that feels good for my body.
the music i listen to while running has had a big impact on my motivation. i created a channel on pandora that goes off of hillsong united, jesus culture, david crowder and other Christian artists with a good beat. and i was never so thankful to have that when the intervals picked up to 3 minutes of running this week. j.j. heller carried me through that first three minute section, and i needed that rhythmic strum of the guitar to keep my feet going.
but the thing that i love about pandora is that it lets me rediscover songs i haven't heard lately or find some new ones by similar artists. and jon foreman has popped up several times over the last couple of weeks. i couldn't help but identify with some of his lyrics--lines from one of his old switchfoot songs--"this is your life. are you who you want to be?" and that became my mantra for the rest of the run. no, i'm not who i want to be. i want to do something about it. i want to keep running and lose this weight and feel more like myself and be a healthy mom for davis and have something athletic that i do just for me. and i made it through that run, ready to take on the next challenge.
last night, a new song popped up and i had to check the phone to see what it was. another jon foreman one, this coming from his solo album. "your love is strong." and as he sings through the Lord's prayer and the sermon on the mount in such relevant, relate-able terms--i got the energy to keep going and push through the knee pain i've been feeling recently (going to get fitted for running shoes this week to help with that.)
"so why should i worry? why should i freak out? God knows what i need. you know what i need. your love is strong..."
14 hours ago