you know you have a toddler when...

-your remote controls magically walk from room to room

-you get used to sharing your meals (and expertly cutting it up into bite-sized pieces)

-you become an expert at distinguishing the differences between "ball," "bottle" and "balloon" (or "bah," "buh buh" and "bah ooh")

-when you get ready to leave, there is one shoe at the front door and one at the back door

-you can sing more words to a yo gabba gabba song than anything on a top 40 station

-when (IF) you go out to eat, you go at 5 pm to the loudest restaurant possible. and you inevitably get seated in the section with all the other families with young kids, sharing knowing glances as you dodge sippy cups and step over forks in the aisle.

-you become an expert at finding quick diversions to make speedy diaper changes as easy as possible

-you have difficulty keeping the dog from eating "people food" and the kid from eating "dog food."

-you're adept at stepping over a baby gate while holding a child, carrying a plate and holding a set of utensils in your mouth

-you are rediscovering the joys of chef boyardee, kraft mac and cheese, and american cheese singles

what do you think? what have i missed, toddler mamas?